Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- Not enough Mucinex edition

Thanks to Last Week Tonight being back on HBO, I had to renew the subscription. While tooling along, looking for something to watch, we spotted Daniel Sloss.. and said GREAT.. we love him and he’s kinda fitting our mood of slightly twisted.

The following ensued-

Rick- you know, the more I watch this guy, the more I think he looks like the twins.

Me- Mmm, kind of I guess. I think of him more as a Scottish Macaulay Culkin, myself.

Rick- Yeah.. but he looks more like Josh to me.

Me- dafuq? THE TWINS ARE IDENTICAL WHAT THE SHIT MAN.

Rick- laughs and coughs and turns an alarming shade of beet red with the laughing and coughing and not being able to stop.

Me- IS IT WORTH IT?!

Rick- /wheezing, Yes, totally worth it.

Me- I’m posting this, you know.

Rick- wheezes and laughs some more as I fetch him more Mucinex.

 

They say as long as you can laugh, you know you’re gonna be okay.

 

Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- The 36 Questions and my love for a certain subreddit

I think if you’ve been a reader for any length of time, you are likely already aware that I am a creature of many bad, bad habits.

One of those habits is frequenting the subreddit ‘Am I the Asshole?’ The idea is that people experiencing interpersonal conflicts write out their side of the axe they are a grindin’, and the commenting population says one of a few things- You Are the Asshole, You’re Not the Asshole (and someone else is), No Assholes Here, or Everybody Sucks Here.

I. Love. This.

My little judgy heart goes pitty pat as I read and make my determination. Sometimes I support my views with thoughtful, considered feedback, and other times I decide to be the Gollum commenter and say ‘Not it’s business, preciouses.’ Either way, it’s a pretty good fuckin time as far as I’m concerned.

So on Sunday, Rick and I were enjoying a well earned afternoon of mellow, talking over what we want to do with the kitchen remodel we’ve been considering. This includes pricing different pieces and watching YouTube videos to decide how hard something is going to be, then pondering over how long my kitchen would be out of order while we figured this shit out.

 

Rick- Why the hell do the cabinets have to be black?

Me- Cause it’s me. This is not going to be a Suzy Homemaker cow and gingham fuckin sunflower kitchen. It’s MY kitchen. Black with Star Wars wallpaper. It’ll be fabulous.

Rick- /nods mostly not doubtfully- So you want to go price it out professionally?

Me- Sure, let’s rip off the band aid and see how bad it is before we decide whether we should attempt this ourselves.

 

Off we go- and on the way, I pull up my favorite subreddit (not like I was driving or anything, after all), and read AITA for trying to do the 36 questions with my girlfriend, now she’s pissed off and not talking to me.

This was too interesting not to share, so I read it to Rick.

Rick- /snort- his own damn fault, everyone knows you don’t do that shit.

Me- Orly?

And that’s how we started the 36 questions. Maybe I like to tempt fate, or torture Rick.. or whatever.

I’m not going to lie, some of the questions are real groaners. But we did find out some interesting stuff. Neither one of us wants to be famous, cause we like life the way it is. While I’m pretty sure that we weren’t supposed to answer the ‘what’s one quality or ability you’d want to wake up with tomorrow’ with FUCKING DUH I WANNA BE A MOTHERFUCKIN JEDI, well, that answer won’t surprise anyone that knows us.

We also found out just how much value we put in each other, and how different our lives are from where we started. How much more we’ve each become from having that support, that will to jump over the edge together cause we’ve got someone’s hand to hold as we fall.

Or fly.

As for the remodel? We got to the Local Hardware Superstore with our sheaf of sketches and careful measurements only to find the kitchen remodeling section was closed for remodeling.

Isn’t it ironic, doncha think?

 

 

Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- bucket list edition

Rick and I are rewatching The Ranch before the new season drops in a weekish (don’t judge, it’s funny and reminds me of where I grew up, and yes, Sam Elliot makes my heart go pitty pat), and they started talking about bucket lists.

Me- You know, we prolly ought to talk about making a bucket list.

Rick- /thinks a minute- Yeah, to finish all the video games I got.

Me- Shit, if you could put Death on hold for that, we’d be fuckin immortal.

 

Steam library- 206 games and counting. Oy.

Random Ramble- Living with a Corg and actual conversation at Casa de Wellman

Recently, Rick and I took one of our little jaunts to go be other people/maybe dragons for awhile (it’s called Dragon Thrones, it’s amazing, every gamer type should go at least once), and while we enjoy our time away, there is someone who does not.

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Not talking to you, mahm.

This is the same little critter that typically is no more than six feet away from me. In the mornings, she nudges, licks, strategically stands (you think she’s not heavy til she puts all her weight on  your ribs and bounces), and generally pesters Rick until he vacates her (his?) pillow so we can lay nose to nose and ponder this business of sleeping in. While I’m at my desk, she’s got her bed under it, plus a rug to sploot out on if the bed gets too confining.

Yeah, she’s spoiled, we’re all aware.

So when I go away for a few days, I look forward to her ecstatic greetings when I get home. Mahm coming home is usually a big deal- inspections to shins and shoes, a knuckle nibble, and happy waggles are what I’m used to.

And, to be fair, I got that for about thirty seconds when we got in very late Monday night.

Then… it’s like she remembered she was mad. She went to get her treats from Rick, and I became invisible.

And it went on like that for days. If she even looked at me, it was with betrayal. There was no more couch cuddles, no climbing in mahm’s lap, no fetching of the toys to play with. Bree wouldn’t come if I called her, and made it clear I was NOT allowed to pet.

But Rick was allowed to pet- he was forgiven almost immediately. :/

 

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No, don’t wanna play with evil deserting traitors like YOU, mahm.

I tried everything… I fetched treats, I laid on the couch all lonesome, I called and waved toys around temptingly.. nothing worked. She just curled up at the far end of the couch, pointedly ignoring me.

It is worth noting that she’d still curl up next to me at night- but no pets.

Four days of this, and then, last night as I was working out, I tried dragging my hand across the floor for her to stalk and attack. Apparently my time of punishment had passed, or giving her the ability to vent her feelings on my poor defenseless hand helped her work out the last of her annoyance with me.

After dinner, she climbed into my lap for head rubbies, and everything was okay again.

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Hey mahm, now that we’re friends again, where did the rest of that pizza go?

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On one of our flights, there was a couple who had their own pup with them, and we kind of thought of what it would be like to take Bree along on one of our trips.

Rick- They were so happy the dog got his own seat. I don’t think Bree would be happy if we put her under the seat in front of us.

Me- We could buy her her own seat. /ponder But she wouldn’t be happy unless she was in First Class.

 

We laugh… but I think it’s true. Can you imagine that stink eye for having to sit in /gasp coach?

Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- tech support edition

So today is an interesting day… Rick got the quad head 3D printer that I ordered him off a kickstarter that was supposed to have been delivered a year ago.

To no one’s surprise, it’s missing two screws.

We’re on the couch, watching a movie as Rick writes his letter to tech support.

 

Rick- They’re not going to like that.

Me- What’s that?

Rick- Well, they want a picture of the problem. /flaps hands helplessly

Me- So you could like.. take a picture with two screw outlines… fill in the blank…

Rick- I went for pictures of the screws.

Me- Did you put a red circle and a line through it?

Rick- I’m just hoping they send me the size of the screws.. that’s all I need.

 

Please, O Company of the Quad Core.. you’re already a year late… can we please just get the bloody size of the bloody screws without proving that we don’t have them?

 

Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- holiday decor edition

Rick is a great guy. Have I ever mentioned that?

Today, knowing it’s been one of them days on top of one of them weeks, he got us Zombieland tickets! It’s a funny flick, and put us in the mood for discussing of holiday decorating.

Me- I think we should put up pagan lights this year.

Rick- Oh?

Me- Yeah! Go all out, black and purple and dragons… you know, really do it up.

Rick- Uh huh.

Me- We’ll put out a blessed be to be sure the point gets across!

Rick- Erm.

Me- And a nice big pentagram!

Rick- Wonder what the Mormons will think about that!

Me- And your mom. I’ll put it on Facebook!

Rick- /sigh

Actual Conversation not at Casa de Wellman- Vendor edition

So sleep hasn’t really been a thing for me lately. Yay last event of the year plus work thing coming up next week (this week? some week) that I’m excited for plus new book plus just being me.

If I can get to sleep, great. I will sleep until some foolish person or creature wakes me. The bad part is, if it’s 4am or later, I am then just awake.

Period.

None of the tricks work at that point. And taking a sleep aid is a terrible plan at 4am if you need to be up and moving at 6am.

All this to explain as to why I was so nonplussed to be awake at 4am yesterday morning. I knew we had to get up at 6 so we could pack up and be out the door by 7 so we could get breakfast and be in Edgewood for setup by 8.

With a sigh, I resolved to at least rest if not sleep, so that I could be of clear mind and tranquil spirit while dealing with the fun of a vendor day. Let me be clear, I do enjoy getting the chance to get out and talk to people and see what they think of our work and see their reactions. Edgewood Celtic is a smaller event, so there’s even time to chat with the organizers and other vendors to see what events they’ve been doing well with so I can start charting out next year’s calendar.

But when you haven’t slept really well in about a week, and you’re heading an hour away to where the temperature is roughly 35 degrees.. well, the glamour and sparkle of vending is somewhat lost.

Up we go, set up we are, with Mike Rowe’s new audiobook and Blake’s breakfast burritos for company. Yes, it was FREAKIN cold, but that’s why I have a pair of Bearpaws and 3 layers on.

The event itself was great… we were near the music stage, which means there was always something to tap your foot to, and yes, they did sing the one about what a Scotsman wears beneath his kilt. I think it may be illegal to have a gathering with bagpipes without that and Amazing Grace happening at some point.

I think it’s sad they neglect the Ball of Kerrymuir though. If you’re gonna go risque…

One of the other things I like about Celtic Fest are the dogs.. corgis and wolfhounds and skye terriers and shelties.. puppage puppage everywhere, and I’m a huge child who just has to coo at them all.

And that’s where our conversation happened.

Me- Look at him! /points discreetly at a terrier with legs so short it doesn’t seem like they exist, only feet under a flowing poof of silky hair- His legs are sooooo short!

Rick- It’s always the ones with the super short legs.. it’s almost like.. /grins at me

Me, eyeing him warily- Almost like what?

Rick, demurring but eventually answering- Almost like you identify with them for some reason.

A little later-

Me- Aw, look at the wolfhound! Don’t you want a big guy like that hanging out, just chill and saying ‘hey’.

Rick- I don’t think that lady could stop him if he wanted to take off running after something.

Me- I don’t think you could stop him if he wanted to take off running after something.

Rick, snorting- And our sleeping situation barely works with the three we have.

Me- WE NEED A BIGGER BED!

Actual conversation at Casa de Wellman- throwback Thursday broken bones edition

Rick: the nurse said that if I’d broken my foot that the bruising would be a lot darker cause of the bone marrow coming to the surface.
Me: wow, your nurse is just full of fun facts. They should write up a pamphlet ‘Fun facts about broken bones’
Rick: there could be a market for that for emergency rooms- ‘Fun facts about blood clots’
Me: ‘Fun facts about comas- don’t worry, you can read it when you wake up’
Rick: ‘Fun facts about Brain Damage’
Me: ‘Fun facts about erectile dysfunction’
Rick: ‘Fun facts about dyslexia’
Me: I think you mean ‘Unf aftcs bouta dyslexia’

(auto correct made typing the last one a bitch)

We’re bad, bad people.

Actual conversation at Casa de Wellman- We’re concerned about Bree

So, lately it may have been that Rick and I have been playing a bit of Borderlands 3. We like to do this in the office, and Rick is a keyboard warrior while I park my butt on my couch with my super spiffy purple Xbox controller (which works fine with BL3, btw) and corg dozing on my lap most of the time.

It’s not a bad way to spend an evening, you should try it.

There we are shooting and looting and having a grand time getting coffee shops and diners reopened when we happen to loot a rocket launcher.

Me- Oh my god, ROCKET LAUNCHER!

Bree- /sits up and attacks my face, very excited about this rocket launcher

Rick and Me- /stare at one another in puzzlement, then back at Bree

Me, more tentatively- Rocket launcher?

Bree- /repeats attack, more excited over this mythical green loot rocket launcher than treats

 

Today we got the happy news that Netflix overcame their temporary insanity and decided to cast a corgi to play Ein. For some reason, this got us talking about genius dogs again.

 

Rick- I just wonder what she thinks you’re saying when you say ‘rocket launcher’.

Bree- /perks up from destroying Sacrificial Hedgie #392, staring at Rick intently

Me- Are you a data dog who needs a rocket launcher to take over the world?

Bree- /attacks face

Rick and Me- /puzzled, confused, and a little worried that our adorable pup is bent on world domination