So, right now in New Mexico, there’s like a thing that we don’t see very often or maybe you know, like ever.
Crazy, huh? Lived here for over twenty years, ain’t never seen this.
So, like anyone who’s about to be potentially snowed in for like.. a day.. Rick and I took some precautions. We went and had a steak dinner, and then we went to get dog food, cause Bree, even as we were standing there making plans, emptied the dog food dish right in front of us.
You have to admire any creature that’s THAT direct.
Out we went.. nothing major weather wise going on yet, just a few flakes here and there. We had a pleasant dinner, were told how cute we are with our matching Star Wars shirts (didn’t have the heart to tell her that this is just our wardrobe, not like we coordinate), and we headed off to get dog food.
First, we encountered this special soul.
That’s right. They parked IN the cart return, with the back end of the truck blocking the two way traffic for the whole aisle. What a charmer.
It took about 4 laps to find a spot. OK fine, store’s busy, we get that.
What we found inside.. oh my.
This is with five checkers and four self checkouts open.
Now, one of the fun things about this experience (and really, I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t looking for the fun) was seeing what our fellow shoppers considered staples.
Most of them, I understood. Water, bread, eggs, and milk (I think I’m going to have nightmares about the whole dairy section, honestly), all of that I got.
The five cases of water, two cases of bud light, and enough random alcohol to lay down a frat house was interesting. And we weren’t the only ones looking… some people sparked up whole conversations over what they were buying and why.
(In the interests of full disclosure, our cart contained Iams dog food, pizza rolls, apple fritters, a block of Tillamook cheddar, gorditas, and bread, milk, and eggs. Cause I know the damn rules, folks.)
In cocking my ear towards one of the conversations that came up, I heard a fiftysomething lady tell her new friend that she’d brought her checkbook, because her interwebs was down and she wasn’t sure that she’d be able to use a debit card. I bit my tongue and did not take it upon myself to spread knowledge about how the interchange system works with great difficulty. There may still be dents in my tongue, I kid you not. It didn’t help that Rick caught my eye and KNEW I wanted to start the educatin. Bloody man.
Paid for, yes, by debit card, we headed out to find this incredibly I don’t even know what parking job in progress next to our truck.
And yes, the perpetrator walked away and LEFT IT LIKE THIS CAUSE IT WAS JUST FINE.
And when she was done, the driver saw Rick and I standing and staring at this travesty of parking etiquette, stuck her nose in the air, and flounced away in her Think Pink sequined sweater without even a sheepish look.
I left her a note. It had no cuss words in it. Are yall proud? And if you know someone who would wear that that drives that and parks like that, I hope you’ll let them know they are a terrible person. If we hadn’t been able to pull through the other side, we would have been stuck there while her Pinkness shopped and went through the heinously long checkout lines.
At this point, Rick and I decided we were pretty done with people in general and headed home.
Now, last weekend’s project, thanks to someone who shall remain nameless, was turning the house into a smart house via Google Home. As soon as we were at the door, I said ‘OK google, I’m home’, and it started the home routine.
Apparently that includes all outside lights off, living room lights on, and trumpets before the announcement ‘Ari is home!’
Rick and I burst out laughing.
Rick- Did you teach it to do that?
Me- No! But now I kinda wish I had… I have been ANNOUNCED with fucking TRUMPETS and that’s AMAZING.
Rick sighs.
Curiouser and Curiouser 