Actual conversation at Casa de Wellman-socks as proof of condition

Me- Hey honey, can you grab me a pair of socks while you’re in the closet?

Rick- Sure (tosses over a pair), and I even made sure they don’t match.

Me- Aww, you know me so well, honeybear. You know, maybe that’s a good sign that I’m taking on too much.. I looked down one day this week and there they were… a perfectly matched pair of grey socks with little rampant Lannister lions.

Rick- Oh the horror.

Me- I probably should have gone straight to a care facility.. “Doctor you must help me, I’m at my wit’s end and need to rest! You don’t understand.. I MATCHED MY SOCKS!” And the doctor would take me in gingerly and tell me yes, yes, that is sufficient proof of SOME kind of mental condition, alright.

Me and Rick- (dissolve into laughter)

 

Make it a beautiful day, friends… today’s goal is kindness without conditions!

Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- tech support edition

So today is an interesting day… Rick got the quad head 3D printer that I ordered him off a kickstarter that was supposed to have been delivered a year ago.

To no one’s surprise, it’s missing two screws.

We’re on the couch, watching a movie as Rick writes his letter to tech support.

 

Rick- They’re not going to like that.

Me- What’s that?

Rick- Well, they want a picture of the problem. /flaps hands helplessly

Me- So you could like.. take a picture with two screw outlines… fill in the blank…

Rick- I went for pictures of the screws.

Me- Did you put a red circle and a line through it?

Rick- I’m just hoping they send me the size of the screws.. that’s all I need.

 

Please, O Company of the Quad Core.. you’re already a year late… can we please just get the bloody size of the bloody screws without proving that we don’t have them?

 

Customer Service from Hell- I don’t want your app edition

After 5-10 repetitions of me having to say the same thing, sometimes I go a little overboard.

I go full Seuss.

Enjoy.

 

I honestly cannot believe how ridiculous this situation has become. No one is paying the least bit of attention when I say this… but I’m going to try one. more. time.

I DO NOT WANT TO DOWNLOAD THE APP. I WILL NOT DOWNLOAD THE APP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. NOT TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHO INSIST ON MESSAGING ME THERE, NOT TO UPDATE BOOKINGS.
 
Let’s try it Seuss style!
I will not load your stupid app
I will not fix your techno gap
I do not want it here or there
I will not use it anywhere
I do not like this ##### slog
I think I’ll put this on my blog
I am running out of fun ways to say
So I will post about you for days and days
When your name comes up, I’m filled with rage
Your service makes me feel trapped and caged
I will not load your stupid app
I will not fix your techno gap
If I cannot use my account with your site
Out my contract will run and my ass you can bite.
For now, I shall sign off with hopeless despair
Again, no one from your company cares.

Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- holiday decor edition

Rick is a great guy. Have I ever mentioned that?

Today, knowing it’s been one of them days on top of one of them weeks, he got us Zombieland tickets! It’s a funny flick, and put us in the mood for discussing of holiday decorating.

Me- I think we should put up pagan lights this year.

Rick- Oh?

Me- Yeah! Go all out, black and purple and dragons… you know, really do it up.

Rick- Uh huh.

Me- We’ll put out a blessed be to be sure the point gets across!

Rick- Erm.

Me- And a nice big pentagram!

Rick- Wonder what the Mormons will think about that!

Me- And your mom. I’ll put it on Facebook!

Rick- /sigh

DO THE THING!

Every year for the past four, I’ve been doing the thing. The thing that lots of people want to do, and are super amazed that one can do.

Writing books.

Every year for the past four, I’ve been giving my money to this organization to help more people tap into the incredible power they have to create something uniquely them. And the feeling when you do something you don’t think you can do?

Incredible. It’s like nothing else you’ve ever done or ever felt… unless you’ve also done it, in which case, you know, and you know why I can’t give it any better words than the ones I’m currently mangling.

90 minutes a day, 1500 words. Maybe you’ll finish, maybe you won’t. But you owe it to you to try.

https://www.nanowrimo.org/

I’m LookShinyDragon there if you want to friend me… and I promise you you can do this.

Am I doing it? Well, yes. I’m not sure I’ll have Left Turn at Albuquerque finished by November 30, but I’m going to give it a 50k shot.

If you’ve ever considered it, I hope you’ll make this the year to give it a try.. you may surprise yourself.

Actual conversation at Casa de Wellman – The Degothening is a thing.

Listening to a ska/punk cover of What’s This? from A Nightmare Before Christmas by Fallout Boy a friend posted to Facebook out of curiosity, and this ensued.

Me- I can’t believe they are playing this at Disney.

Rick–Well, it is that time of the year.

Me- NO NO NO, it’s not bloody Christmas yet!

Rick- it’s how people who want to celebrate Christmas do it on Halloween.

Me- FUCK that! No wonder, this explains everything!! This is why I hate that movie! It’s the Degothening! It seduces perfectly gothy goths into celebrating Christmas! Respectable Goths should be all about Longest Night! It’s dark and long and cold and gothy, dammit!

/shakes fist DEGOTHENING!

Actual Conversation not at Casa de Wellman- Vendor edition

So sleep hasn’t really been a thing for me lately. Yay last event of the year plus work thing coming up next week (this week? some week) that I’m excited for plus new book plus just being me.

If I can get to sleep, great. I will sleep until some foolish person or creature wakes me. The bad part is, if it’s 4am or later, I am then just awake.

Period.

None of the tricks work at that point. And taking a sleep aid is a terrible plan at 4am if you need to be up and moving at 6am.

All this to explain as to why I was so nonplussed to be awake at 4am yesterday morning. I knew we had to get up at 6 so we could pack up and be out the door by 7 so we could get breakfast and be in Edgewood for setup by 8.

With a sigh, I resolved to at least rest if not sleep, so that I could be of clear mind and tranquil spirit while dealing with the fun of a vendor day. Let me be clear, I do enjoy getting the chance to get out and talk to people and see what they think of our work and see their reactions. Edgewood Celtic is a smaller event, so there’s even time to chat with the organizers and other vendors to see what events they’ve been doing well with so I can start charting out next year’s calendar.

But when you haven’t slept really well in about a week, and you’re heading an hour away to where the temperature is roughly 35 degrees.. well, the glamour and sparkle of vending is somewhat lost.

Up we go, set up we are, with Mike Rowe’s new audiobook and Blake’s breakfast burritos for company. Yes, it was FREAKIN cold, but that’s why I have a pair of Bearpaws and 3 layers on.

The event itself was great… we were near the music stage, which means there was always something to tap your foot to, and yes, they did sing the one about what a Scotsman wears beneath his kilt. I think it may be illegal to have a gathering with bagpipes without that and Amazing Grace happening at some point.

I think it’s sad they neglect the Ball of Kerrymuir though. If you’re gonna go risque…

One of the other things I like about Celtic Fest are the dogs.. corgis and wolfhounds and skye terriers and shelties.. puppage puppage everywhere, and I’m a huge child who just has to coo at them all.

And that’s where our conversation happened.

Me- Look at him! /points discreetly at a terrier with legs so short it doesn’t seem like they exist, only feet under a flowing poof of silky hair- His legs are sooooo short!

Rick- It’s always the ones with the super short legs.. it’s almost like.. /grins at me

Me, eyeing him warily- Almost like what?

Rick, demurring but eventually answering- Almost like you identify with them for some reason.

A little later-

Me- Aw, look at the wolfhound! Don’t you want a big guy like that hanging out, just chill and saying ‘hey’.

Rick- I don’t think that lady could stop him if he wanted to take off running after something.

Me- I don’t think you could stop him if he wanted to take off running after something.

Rick, snorting- And our sleeping situation barely works with the three we have.

Me- WE NEED A BIGGER BED!

Random Ramble- We need a hero

Yes, I know, I said today begins art. Before I dive into that though, I have a series of thoughts that need to go somewhere else.

Here seemed like a good spot.

Lately, there’s been a series of high profile individuals bashing on Marvel/superhero movies, denigrating them in terms of not being art.

Well, let me take this opportunity to say, “And fuck you, too.”

I remember very early on in our relationship, Rick asked if I was okay with hanging up movie posters around our putative future residence. Of course, I answered, it’s art. He raised a brow at me (this is the Rickly equivalent of a thousand things, now I know it means, oh really, pray tell) and I gave him my thoughts on how art, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What may be meaningless to me may hold a world of meaning for him, and it wasn’t on me to trash anything he found something moving in.

More years than I care to put a number to and my thoughts hold more or less along the same lines. If it moves you, it’s art.

Circling back around- the turbulent times we live in, the idea of there being flawed, interesting people with amazing abilities who take up the fight against forces of evil… yeah, Scorsese and Maron and Aniston, that’s art. It’s harder for us to connect with the antihero, the sour comedian clearly doing it for the money, or anyone who would make movies with Adam Sandler… but heroes? We can cheer for them, forgive them for their flaws, and watch the same stories over and over, and find inspiration.

It’s not like heroic sagas are anything new, after all- tales told over and over, daring us to find the best parts of ourselves in the darkest hours.

I’m sorry for the folks that don’t see the art in that.

Actual conversation at Casa de Wellman- throwback Thursday broken bones edition

Rick: the nurse said that if I’d broken my foot that the bruising would be a lot darker cause of the bone marrow coming to the surface.
Me: wow, your nurse is just full of fun facts. They should write up a pamphlet ‘Fun facts about broken bones’
Rick: there could be a market for that for emergency rooms- ‘Fun facts about blood clots’
Me: ‘Fun facts about comas- don’t worry, you can read it when you wake up’
Rick: ‘Fun facts about Brain Damage’
Me: ‘Fun facts about erectile dysfunction’
Rick: ‘Fun facts about dyslexia’
Me: I think you mean ‘Unf aftcs bouta dyslexia’

(auto correct made typing the last one a bitch)

We’re bad, bad people.