Growing up, my mom wasn’t the type to be all into appearance. The only discussions I can remember on skin care was mom telling me to wash my face with soap more often if I had a zit. (Which, oily af skin in the desert, wash it more with soap, dry it out more, more oil, great cycle, kthx mom!) Makeup tutorials? “Use brushes for eyeshadow”.
That… was about it.
So anything I’ve learned about skincare and hair care, I kinda had to pick up on my own as I went. Wavy hair is always super fun to care for anyway, but growing it out has been a major headache with the Frizzmonster attacking more or less at will.
And, oh yeah, I’m fifty. I love the fact that servers apparently can’t believe that I’m that venerable age, but I am, and I’d prefer to go on looking and feeling well preserved for awhile longer.
To the Google! I started with, what else? research to try and understand the best way to tame the Frizzmonster and what was making it such a bitch to slay just cause I let an extra six (or so) inches of hair grow out.
Now, understand that I am not completely hopeless… I do know enough to stay away from the sun (already not a problem, both parents have rich histories of skin cancer) and smoking. But I wasn’t aware that hard water can also be a major issue.
Okay, now I know… the company that made the air purifier that has cleared up my allergy days to just about nonexistent recently released a showerhead that filters water. Click, click, that was easy. And now that it’s installed and I’ve gotten to use it for a few days? Ermgherd.. it’s a game changer.
Then I stumbled on a company that claims to make custom blends of skin and hair care to match you and your environment. Cool, let’s order a pile of that and see where that gets us.
And that’s how I arrived here.. with 4 rather scientifically clinicalish anonymous looking bottles of mask, cleanser, gooper, etc for my hair and 3 more equally straight out of a mad scientist’s cupboard looking bottles of serums, cleansers, and more gooper for my face. When you’re a girl that has done one gooper and maybe a drop of serum for a long time and a 3x/week exfoliator.. that’s a lot a lot.
When you’re a girl who maybe isn’t at her swiftest in the brain department first thing in the morning…
… I’m trying to work up to how to tell you that I washed my face with one of the hair goopers this morning. In my defense, let’s count down just how many different things I have to touch before I’ve had a visit from the good fairy that feeds my Caffiend.
- Facial wash
- Shampoo
- Conditioner (Hair Gooper #1)
- Acne wash
- Body wash
- Toothpaste
- Contact lens solution
- Curl conditioner (Hair Gooper #2)
- Facial moisturizer (Face Gooper #1)
- Facial serum (Face Gooper #3)
- Hydration cream
- Deodorant
Potential extra innings!!
- Scalp scrub
- Hair mask (Hair Gooper #3)
- Facial sunscreen
- Facial exfoliator
So you can laugh at me and wonder how the sweet fanny fuck all a grown(ish) woman ended up washing her face with curl cream.. but I would submit this list for your consideration and ask that we all bask in the reality that at least I didn’t try to brush my teeth with it.
Curiouser and Curiouser 