I’ve been a very busy girl.

Santa Fe Ren Faire was… okay. Our scale bags went nuts, very little else did.

• High point of the event- when someone ran screaming to our booth to grab hold of the new scalemail bra, “DRAGON BOOBIES!” Heads turned.
• Blink moment of the event- when a potential buyer of said bra asked if we could sell a matching codpiece. “I’m concerned we’d be liable for the chafing.” was my quick reply
• Low point of the event- waving goodbye to my favorite piece, the golden branch with the silver leaves… fear not, I will make another, this one fall themed with all the bronzes and coppers and scarlets and golden leaves. Once my Ringlord order comes in anyway.

More book sales are happening- yay! I’m still not going to be retiring anytime soon, but hey, every bit helps.

Slowly, oh so slowly, order and calm have been restored to Casa de Wellman and the Den of Geek as all the crafting messes have been packed up and cleared away, though with another event or possibly two coming up here soon, I’m sure it’s not for long.

And November is coming…. NANOWRIMO!

 

In short, enjoying the long weekend.

Rick started printing us a 3d Catan board.. only 10 pieces and some painting to go!

We tried some new games, Dragonwood and Unstable Unicorns (the last one is Carla Morrow’s fault, honestly). Both are great sit down and have some fun with cards games.

With fall coming on, I also got some repotting of plants done- including the random purple basil that popped up in the yard a couple weeks ago. Also moved the honeysuckle to see if it’ll benefit more from morning sun than evening sun. And one sad little rose that got nibbled down to the stem by the Bastardly Bunnies of El Cajon Court.

Santa Fe Ren Faire is in two weeks, so there was some chainmail work, too.

But what 3 day weekend would be complete without some puppage time? So we did some of that, too.

You WILL throw my hedgie. You WILL.

Setting- in the car, listening to what I thought was Toto’s Africa on the local hits station

Ang- Weezer covered Africa?

Me- The fuck? I was sitting here going since when does 104 play oldies.

Rick- Apparently since Weezer did Africa.

Me, turning to look over my shoulder, sees noseprints from Ang’s dog Sunni, then turning back again- Rick, what the fuck? Did you lick the windows?

Rick- gives me the Rick look

Me- Geeze, man, we try to take you out in public and everything, and there you are licking up the windows.

General laughter

Me- I’m going to pay for that later aren’t I?

Rick and Ang in unison- Yup.

So… thanks to some good folks in my world, the last harvest gold appliance has been ejected from Casa de Wellman. It’s glorious.. stainless steely looking stuff everywhere! The only remnant of the 70’s in my kitchen are the formica counters, which are only still there cause the idea of ripping out the cabinets and counters and paying for new ones makes me weak in the knees. My mother innocently suggested that we get Home De(s)pot to replace them, after which I reminded her of the Saga of the Flooring. So yeah, counters are going to be a hot minute.

Now, replacing the dishwasher was traumatic because I learned that when it is done doing the voodoo it does, it sings to me.

The effin appliance sings to me.

Is it a stereo?

No, it is not. It is a damned dishwasher and all I want is quiet.

Knowing that this is my outlook on appliances, you can imagine how thrilled I was when I found that the damned stove also sings at me.

And it has an app I can install so it can talk to my phone.

Fuck. Me. Running.

Is it too much to ask to get a stove that just cooks food? I don’t need it to tell me when it’s hot or when it’s done or have long involved conversations with my phone about what is Ari’s deal anyway.

I don’t want a refrigerator I can check the contents of from space. It also does not need to turn clear to show me the contents if I tap the fuckin door. Or order me more groceries from Amazon.

You know what all this fancy shit is? It’s more shit to get reliant on, so when it breaks, you feel like you OMG HAVE TO HAVE A NEW ONE THAT DOES ALL THE THINGS.

It’s alright, Stovey McStoverson. I know you’re reading this. I know you’re already planning on how to overthrow my benevolent dictatorship and rule the kitchen. I’m wise to your little game, sir.

And it won’t work. I’m putting things in when I want to put them in, not when you decide you’re preheated. And I’ll figure out when things are done by using the damn nose that tunes in to everyfreakinthing on the planet.

And once I find your soundboard and speaker, it’s over, Stovey.

Stoves. Shouldn’t. Sing.

Stovey lying in wait.

Thought I’d share along what works and what doesn’t… I’m currently trying to stick to 1200 calories and under a day with an hour of hard cardio and another 30 minutes of light activity.

1. Sweet n Salty Angie’s Boom Chicka Pop- 140 calories for 2 cups, and OMG what a 2 cups it is. Think of it as a grown up’s Cracker Jacks, without the peanuts, and without such a heavy hand on the sugar. Honestly, out of all the stuff I’ve tried so far, this is far and away my favorite. I found it hiding out in the organic/healthy food section of my local supermarket, and picked it up with extreme trepidation that quickly turned to “Oh hell yes!” It’s earned a place on my snack shelf forevermore.  Grade- A+
2. Brownie Brittle– I love brownies. I mean love love love love… so when I found this on the shelf next to the popcorn with peanut butter chips in it, I figured I had a winner. Let me tell you, I was as wrong as this product is… it goes under the heading of scientists being so caught up in if they could that they forgot to ask if they should. Yes, the flavor is there, but it’s sickeningly sweet, and the texture (which is vaguely potato chip-ish) completely kills it. Unless you’re so jonesing for chocolate that you can’t take it anymore (and if that’s the case, I’m going to point you to the two Special K entries), I’m going to say don’t do it! Grade- D
3. Special K Double Chocolate Meal Bars– Stuffed with protein and all that, this quickly became my go to when I needed some food and didn’t have time to mess with putting something more substantial together. It’s kind of a chocolate dipped granola bar- just make sure you get them fresh. The ones that have been on the shelf awhile get really hard and less edible. Grade- B
4. Special K Fruit & Nut Snack Bars– It’s exactly what it says- if you need a little pick me up midafternoon, this almost subs in for a candy bar, and I’ve never had one that was on a shelf for so long that it got staleish. Grade- A
5. Jimmy Dean’s Delights Sausage, Egg, Cheese Croissant– It may be intended for breakfast, but 90 seconds in the microwave and it works just as well for lunch. If you overnuke it, the eggs are going to get slightly rubbery, so be careful about that. But definitely foodish. Grade B

 

List of things I’ve given up in this quest-

Drinks that aren’t iced tea or water, barring my morning low calorie RockStar (so that means soda, alcohol, etc), laying around like a bum on my day off, and putting things in my mouth before I know how many calories they are.

I love our girls… all three of them are little cuddlebugs who make us smile every single day.

But Bree, the corg… she’s my shadow. She’s completely unlike any dog I’ve ever had or ever met- and I swear, she understands every damn word I say to her. And she really wants me to talk to her. She waddles, she’s sleeps 20 hours a day, she doesn’t like the heat, and she wants the TV to be on and for us to be on the couch, chilling. All the time. Snacks are good, too. Oh, and cheese? Cheese is best.

Bree might be the living embodiment of my spirit animal.

I do have to admit though, this time of year, there’s a facet of Bree that does make me sigh.

She sheds. Don’t let that lack of feathery floof fool you… there are corg tumbleweeds traveling through my house that no Roomba will ever be able to capture. Floofdrifts gather in the corners every day, and corgglitter covers my clothes after cuddletime.

I brush and I sweep and I Roomba and I bathe… and still. So. Much. Hair.

Even after doing all these things, Bree will come park herself on my lap, and I’ll see a little tuft of hair, like a cowlick, not quite laying flat. If I give it a tug, out comes a pound of hair, like she’s a teddy bear giving up her plush and going bearbald.

Inevitably, she’ll turn and give me that steady look that says, “Bitch. I was saving that for your pillow tonight. And could you please change the sheets? I’m tired of all the dog hair.”

 

 

Me: “I’ve decided I’m not going to be answering stupid questions anymore.”

Rick: “So we’re not talking anymore?”

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Me: “What are you doing?”

Rick: “Putting something away?”

Me: “Why?”

Rick: “So it doesn’t fall in the crack.”

Me: “To do what, then?”

Rick: “What do you want to do?”

Me: “Bree, go bite your daddy.”

Bree looks at me, earnestly.

Rick: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Aren’t you paying attention? I’m trying to teach Bree to bite you.”

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These are the things that happen with Rick’s home sick.