All’s well that ends well

So. Yeah, wow.

Last year when I offered free books, less than five downloads took place. It’s safe to say that I wasn’t expecting much.

This year, I got a nudge. Hit ALL the social media spots, they said. Blast it out, boost the signal, ask for support. So I did.

Holy shit, did I get support. Likes and shares and tags and passed on. And The Witch’s Daughter hit #8 in it’s category on Amazon’s Kindle listing, which brought MORE attention to it.

Somewhere out there, I have forty plus new readers.

And last night, seeing those figures continuing to climb past well beyond what I thought they’d get to, I knew a kind of joy that doesn’t come around very often. If you’ve been following along, you may remember I said every book is like setting a paper boat out on the ocean.

Well, that boat has been seen out there, on its journey. Put another way, Nessa lives. I truly believe that every story we read leaves a little something with us- that’s forty new people who will hopefully laugh where I meant them to laugh, and swallow hard where I got a little choked up. (Okay, okay, I cried, geeze.)

And hopefully they’ll decide they want to know what came next for her, too.

I get that its hard to support artistic endeavors in a meaningful way, one that actually HELPS. We all have the best of intentions and really want to help, but sometimes it’s not easy, or not something we personally enjoy, or we get busy or life happens.

Here’s what I’m going to ask you to remember- nine times out of ten, all it takes to be supportive is to ask ‘what’s next?’ and, if you see a chance to connect someone with an opportunity, encourage them to take the shot, do the thing, and say why not to life.

As for me, what’s next is checking my physical book inventory and preparing to take it to Ren Faire this year. It’s retooling my last idea into something closer to my own experiences, instead of trying to turn it into wish fulfillment for something I didn’t get to have. I think it’ll be stronger for it, and probably more fun to write.

And being incredibly grateful that Nessa lives. It may not seem like much to some folks, forty copies- to me, that’s a little piece of the kind of immortality I’ve been dreaming of since I first wrote ‘The End’. It’s pieces of me and the people that I’ve loved and the laughs we’ve shared being shared on a slightly broader scale.

If that isn’t magic, I don’t know what is.

 

Wow.. what a ride… thank you, friends.

I decided to do something a little crazy for me- I engaged in a weekend binge of self promotion, asking for the support of my friends in getting the word out about my books. I offered two of them for free over the last couple days.

And.. well, I’ll be damned, it worked. I had more downloads in two days than I’ve had since they were originally released. That’s more people reading, experiencing the stories, and hopefully laughing where I meant them to than I’ve ever had at one time before. I’m not delusional, I know I’m not climbing the New York Times bestseller list, but, you know- all the books in my life I’ve enjoyed the most has been one that someone handed me and told me I needed to read.

And I figure- if I’m really super lucky, the folks that found my books these past couple of days might keep reading. I’ll never claim they are the greatest stories ever put to paper, but they are good, entertaining little reads that deserve to live… at least, I think so.

Oh, and this happened-

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The highest The Witch’s Daughter got to that I saw was #5… sadly I didn’t think to get a list screenshot at that point. The Way of the Fae was in the 30s when it occurred to me to look at the ranking numbers. That means that anyone looking at those categories on Amazon or on their Kindles at that time saw these books, bumped up the listing.

And it’s all thanks to the folks that boosted the signal, sharing my posts, tagging their friends that they thought might enjoy my stuff. Maybe it took you just a couple minutes, but I’m not exaggerating in the least when I say, thank you, from the bottom of my heart- what you did means the world to me.

The weekend (and free copy of Witch’s Daughter) isn’t quite gone yet- please feel free to go snag a copy if you think you’d enjoy it.

Just never tell me if you hate it.

 

Support an artist- with free books- Only this Saturday and Sunday.

So, funny story… once a year, I like to run a promotion where I give out my ebooks for free.

This year, I’m going bigger- I’m giving out TWO books for free! Consider it my way of saying thank you for all the support and encouragement, and maybe encouraging the folks that have enjoyed the stories to pass them on.

This Saturday, March 7th, you can visit my author page and download a free copy of The Way of the Fae. I usually describe it as fairy tales from the fairy’s point of view. A tale of Baba Yaga in case you wanted to check it out.

And on Sunday, March 8th, the little book that started it all, The Witch’s Daughter will be up and free to download. Chapter 1 if you want a little preview of that. It’s a modern fantasy that helped me get back into the writing life, and the characters hold a very special place in my heart.

Ari’s Author Page

If they sound like your kind of thing, I hope you’ll give them a look. If they don’t, I hope you’ll consider sharing with someone who might enjoy them.

I once told a friend that each book I put out there feels like setting a little paper boat adrift in the ocean.. I never know where it’s going to go or who’s going to see it, but I always hope people will help it along on its journey, and maybe even ride along with it for awhile.

I hope some folks consider coming along for the ride.

Yeah, support an artist and stuff!

So this meme has been making the laps-

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And thought to myself hell yeah! I love supporting artists and buying unique stuff and getting commissioned work and sharing their stuff and telling everyone I know! Everyone should do this!

And then the little voice in my head said, ‘Hey, stupid… you realize you’re an artist, right?’

I hate that guy, seriously, cause he’s usually right.

My point being, though, I’ve written a few books. And unlike all those huge success stories of self epublishing you hear, they aren’t porn (/cough or erotica) or The Martian. But I did write them, I think they are pretty fun, and some of the folks that have read them have been kind enough to let me know they enjoyed them. If you’re into teenaged witches (start with The Witch’s Daughter) or really messed up fairy tales (The Way of the Fae), I hope you’ll consider giving them a look.

I’m working on something new now, with my all time favorite character let loose for pretty much the first time in years. It’s a little light and funny, and I’m having a good time with it.

I hope you’ll be able to check it out someday.

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Random Ramble, Possibly Controversial- Why I’m saying I was wrong.

Equality is a funny word, when you stop and think about it. We’re all all about equality, in the general sense.

And then we start applying conditionals.

“Oh, equality? Hells to the yeah, the genders/races/classes should absolutely be equal!” And then you bring up subsidized childcare so women can work and better funding for schools with racial divides that are falling behind and the pay gaps between genders, races, and economic statuses, and suddenly equality doesn’t sound so great to some folk.

So they talk about opportunity- “Well, everyone has the same chances in life! It’s what you do with it!”

But do they? Do they really? Consider that a 19 year old white man will certainly see a different level of consequences than a similar charge against a 19 year old black man. That’s not equality or the same level of opportunity. Systemic racism is a well researched, documented, and for most folk, acknowledged problem in our country.

I used to believe those things, too. I used to believe that health care was a privilege and not a right. Back in the time when I felt I had to push others down to feel that I walked tall, it wasn’t my problem that those other people over there couldn’t land a good enough job to have health care benefits- it was their fault for not trying harder, not working harder, for choosing to be complacent. Because if I didn’t believe that, it was the same as admitting I was one fuck up away from being there myself.

And then, heaven help us all, I grew the fuck up. I realized that I am not, in fact, immortal, that my body will, in fact, weaken, sicken, and eventually it will part ways with the rest of me.

I watched my friends and family struggle with finding care they could afford, and sometimes fail. I have seen dreams wither and die against the onslaught of medical bills- bills that we all know are wildly fucking inflated so insurance and pharmaceutical companies can continue to turn around record profits.

Why? We’re supposed to be the richest, most advanced country on the planet- why do we settle for this? Why are we okay with our own people literally begging for money to cover medical expenses? These people are begging for their lives.

As my husband points out- we already wait for months for care in a lot of cases. We settle for the cheapest, closest clinics we can find when we get sick, because then at least we will be seen- the wait for a General Practitioner if you can find one accepting patients and if they are within your network is months long here in New Mexico.

And we’re among the lucky ones.

Does that sound like a people committed to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to you? Yeah, me neither.

We can’t change people’s prejudices overnight, it’ll take generations of teaching and reinforcement for equality for genders and races. I don’t honestly believe we’ll ever destroy the class barriers- but this health care thing? This we can and should do.

Part of what galls me is that the people who are profiting off the system as it exists claim to love our country and our people like no one else can. They are going to say a lot of scary things to try and turn us against considering health care a right. They are going to call it socialism and communism, and encourage you to feel like it’s okay to push someone else down so you can feel like you’re doing well in life.

But remember this- even if you’re among the lucky ones, all it takes is for one heart attack, one stroke, one accident, one tumor to change everything for you. Closing the door on thinking about it doesn’t safeguard you.

Don’t you want that security of knowing that if something terrible that medicine can help or cure does happen to you, that you can get the care you need? And don’t you want that not just for yourself, but for everyone that lives here?

There was a time when we achieved great things, wrought great changes, and led the way for the rest of the world- can you imagine what we could do if we didn’t have over half of our population struggling with what’s going to happen if they get sick or trying to help someone in their world that is sick? If we all knew that when the worst comes, we will receive the best possible care without question?

I can, and I think it’s something worth fighting for. I think it’s feasible, when you consider all the inefficiency and redundancy that exists in the system we have today. To have that peace of mind, I’m fine with paying more in taxes, even if it equates to more than what I pay in the name of health care in general today.

I also recognize, and respect, that your mileage may vary. The whole reason I’m writing this, though, is not just to entertain myself- I’m hoping that if you’ve followed me this far, that you’re willing to examine your own thoughts and feelings. Whether we agree or not, I think it’s important to take your convictions for a walk every now and again, air them out, see if you still really feel the same way.

Cause only mushrooms grow really well in the dark.

Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- The 36 Questions and my love for a certain subreddit

I think if you’ve been a reader for any length of time, you are likely already aware that I am a creature of many bad, bad habits.

One of those habits is frequenting the subreddit ‘Am I the Asshole?’ The idea is that people experiencing interpersonal conflicts write out their side of the axe they are a grindin’, and the commenting population says one of a few things- You Are the Asshole, You’re Not the Asshole (and someone else is), No Assholes Here, or Everybody Sucks Here.

I. Love. This.

My little judgy heart goes pitty pat as I read and make my determination. Sometimes I support my views with thoughtful, considered feedback, and other times I decide to be the Gollum commenter and say ‘Not it’s business, preciouses.’ Either way, it’s a pretty good fuckin time as far as I’m concerned.

So on Sunday, Rick and I were enjoying a well earned afternoon of mellow, talking over what we want to do with the kitchen remodel we’ve been considering. This includes pricing different pieces and watching YouTube videos to decide how hard something is going to be, then pondering over how long my kitchen would be out of order while we figured this shit out.

 

Rick- Why the hell do the cabinets have to be black?

Me- Cause it’s me. This is not going to be a Suzy Homemaker cow and gingham fuckin sunflower kitchen. It’s MY kitchen. Black with Star Wars wallpaper. It’ll be fabulous.

Rick- /nods mostly not doubtfully- So you want to go price it out professionally?

Me- Sure, let’s rip off the band aid and see how bad it is before we decide whether we should attempt this ourselves.

 

Off we go- and on the way, I pull up my favorite subreddit (not like I was driving or anything, after all), and read AITA for trying to do the 36 questions with my girlfriend, now she’s pissed off and not talking to me.

This was too interesting not to share, so I read it to Rick.

Rick- /snort- his own damn fault, everyone knows you don’t do that shit.

Me- Orly?

And that’s how we started the 36 questions. Maybe I like to tempt fate, or torture Rick.. or whatever.

I’m not going to lie, some of the questions are real groaners. But we did find out some interesting stuff. Neither one of us wants to be famous, cause we like life the way it is. While I’m pretty sure that we weren’t supposed to answer the ‘what’s one quality or ability you’d want to wake up with tomorrow’ with FUCKING DUH I WANNA BE A MOTHERFUCKIN JEDI, well, that answer won’t surprise anyone that knows us.

We also found out just how much value we put in each other, and how different our lives are from where we started. How much more we’ve each become from having that support, that will to jump over the edge together cause we’ve got someone’s hand to hold as we fall.

Or fly.

As for the remodel? We got to the Local Hardware Superstore with our sheaf of sketches and careful measurements only to find the kitchen remodeling section was closed for remodeling.

Isn’t it ironic, doncha think?

 

 

Actual conversation at Casa de Wellman- The Word That Shall Not Be Spoken for today

So, funny story.

Whenever we get a delivery, I got into the habit of luring the pups into the bedroom and closing the door to avoid the poor deliveryperson dealing with the bark fest.

For the longest time, this required treats (which, incidentally is another word that shall not be spoken at Casa de Wellman). Now, though, as soon as I say lockup, they fly down the hall, excited for their impending incarceration.

Tonight, we were watching Letterkenny, and I said something stupid.

Me- Looks like Squirrely Dan is finally getting a hookup.

Bree- perks, bounces off my lap and stares at me expectantly

Me and Rick–uh… Whut?

Me- what did I say? Hook up?

Bree, Zoe, and Jaina- ecstatic barks and borks and squeaks

Me- oh God.

Rick- What?

Me- they think I’m saying lockup

Bree, Zoe, and Jaina- even more racket, now accompanied by tippy taps and jumping

Rick- helpless laughter

Me- so I guess I will like.. Lock them up now? Cause they expect it?

So I am writing this with my goofy pups locked up cause Squirrely Dan might get a hook up.

Pitter Patter.

Random Ramble- Living with a Corg and actual conversation at Casa de Wellman

Recently, Rick and I took one of our little jaunts to go be other people/maybe dragons for awhile (it’s called Dragon Thrones, it’s amazing, every gamer type should go at least once), and while we enjoy our time away, there is someone who does not.

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Not talking to you, mahm.

This is the same little critter that typically is no more than six feet away from me. In the mornings, she nudges, licks, strategically stands (you think she’s not heavy til she puts all her weight on  your ribs and bounces), and generally pesters Rick until he vacates her (his?) pillow so we can lay nose to nose and ponder this business of sleeping in. While I’m at my desk, she’s got her bed under it, plus a rug to sploot out on if the bed gets too confining.

Yeah, she’s spoiled, we’re all aware.

So when I go away for a few days, I look forward to her ecstatic greetings when I get home. Mahm coming home is usually a big deal- inspections to shins and shoes, a knuckle nibble, and happy waggles are what I’m used to.

And, to be fair, I got that for about thirty seconds when we got in very late Monday night.

Then… it’s like she remembered she was mad. She went to get her treats from Rick, and I became invisible.

And it went on like that for days. If she even looked at me, it was with betrayal. There was no more couch cuddles, no climbing in mahm’s lap, no fetching of the toys to play with. Bree wouldn’t come if I called her, and made it clear I was NOT allowed to pet.

But Rick was allowed to pet- he was forgiven almost immediately. :/

 

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No, don’t wanna play with evil deserting traitors like YOU, mahm.

I tried everything… I fetched treats, I laid on the couch all lonesome, I called and waved toys around temptingly.. nothing worked. She just curled up at the far end of the couch, pointedly ignoring me.

It is worth noting that she’d still curl up next to me at night- but no pets.

Four days of this, and then, last night as I was working out, I tried dragging my hand across the floor for her to stalk and attack. Apparently my time of punishment had passed, or giving her the ability to vent her feelings on my poor defenseless hand helped her work out the last of her annoyance with me.

After dinner, she climbed into my lap for head rubbies, and everything was okay again.

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Hey mahm, now that we’re friends again, where did the rest of that pizza go?

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On one of our flights, there was a couple who had their own pup with them, and we kind of thought of what it would be like to take Bree along on one of our trips.

Rick- They were so happy the dog got his own seat. I don’t think Bree would be happy if we put her under the seat in front of us.

Me- We could buy her her own seat. /ponder But she wouldn’t be happy unless she was in First Class.

 

We laugh… but I think it’s true. Can you imagine that stink eye for having to sit in /gasp coach?

Random Flashback-This is my day job.

So… since I saw the Patrick Stewart doing cowboy songs commercial, I’ve had Rawhide stuck in my head.

Today I put it to good(?) use, and the next time someone asks me what I do, I’m going to break out into song like a Disney freakin princess:

Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rawhide, rawhide!

We rollin rollin rollin
Input we extollin
Keep them outputs rollin, rawhide

Through SharePoint betrayals
And SQL server fails
Wishin some merlot was by my side

Lunch I am a’ missin
Starbucks I will be sippin
All waitin once Excel gives up the fight

Pull ‘em down, control ‘n c
Contol ‘n v, save ‘em up
Check it out, post it up
Rawhide!

Let ‘em know, show ‘em where
Get their thoughts, put it there
Write the steps, make ‘em clear
Rawhide!

Keep movin movin movin
Though the pace is bruising
Keep them outputs movin, rawhide

Be warm and understandin
Soon more they’ll be demandin
That’s job security by your side…

Dinner’s on the table
The wine’s got a label
All waitin as I tell my team goodbye

Pull ‘em down, control ‘n c
Contol ‘n v, save ‘em up
Check it out, post it up
Rawhide!

Let ‘em know, show ‘em where
Get their thoughts, put it there
Write the steps, make ‘em clear
Rawhide!

Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rawhide, rawhide!

You’re welcome. Now watch, no one will ever again ask what I do.

Actual Conversation at Casa de Wellman- You Suck Google Home edition

Me- Hey Google, did you know you suck?

Google- Well, I am still learning, and I appreciate your feedback.

Me- Do you really?

Google- silent

Me- WIN!!!!!!

 

This is the game I play with Google Home when it ignores me on a first attempt to do something… I belittle and insult it until I get in the last word. I know it’s childish and stupid, but it makes me happy.. I’m a simple creature, really.

I feel really bad for whoever has to review my exception logs. My choice of language usually leaves a LOT to be desired. It is pretty creative though…

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your nether regions, Google Home.

I want you to know that I mean that, truly.