There’s a lot of thoughts and feels running around in my brainpan right now- and I’m sorry to say a sizeable portion fueled by anger and despair.
One of my little hobbies is to peruse a few forums on Reddit, most often r/internetparents and r/amiwrong. Yesterday I came across two posts that absolutely broke my heart.
The first was someone upset that Astrid in the live action How to Train Your Dragon is going to be played by a young Black actress. You see, she herself is descended from the vikings, and identified with Astrid growing up.
Gee. Ya don’t say.
Deep in my heart (and probably for obvious reasons) I truly believe that telling stories is the most important thing we do as people. Whether its written down, filmed, a conversation between friends- to tell a story is to offer up the chance to connect with someone. To have them feel what’s in your heart and mind at a moment in time. Maybe you’re trying to make someone laugh with a tale of your own ridiculousness. Maybe you’re trying to give a lesson through your own experience.
But you never (or at least I never) tell a story without the intent to evoke a feeling. Let that marinate a minute- every show you’ve ever watched, every book you’ve read, every anecdote has attempted to control you. But in a good way (well, mostly.)!
When it comes to representation, stories are going further. If you can see and identify with the character’s situation, what they say, what they do… well, they go from being a character to being a person that you’re rooting for through their story. Like the Velveteen Rabbit, they become Real. Real people can be empathized with, because, holy chao, there’s ways in which they are like you. Because that’s where the basis of understanding them begins, it’s then okay that they aren’t like you in other ways, because the Realness is already there.
Here’s the secret.. every person is Real. The problem is that if we routinely see the world around us that way, it can be devastating to feel that many feels at once, to understand that so much joy and pain and noise, feelings just as real as what YOU feel every day.. it’s out all there. It’s all Real, and there’s too damn little you can do to share in the wonder.. or stem the bleeding. It’s too much to encompass, and we’re at critical mass overload. I truly believe that we were not meant to live in communities as large as we do… and if we continue to do so, we’re going to need an upgrade of some kind to allow us to be the best part of humanity while eradicating the worst parts.
And what’s really not helping is the undeniable fact that our society, particularly in the last 10-15 years, has a vested interest in exploiting the fault lines between people and telling us how different we are.
Because if someone is different from you, it’s okay to think you are greater than.
If someone is different from you, it’s okay not to agree with them.
If someone is different from you, it’s okay to hate them.
Go Team Us. Boo Team Them.
Sound familiar? There’s a reason it resonates- it’s taking that overload and breaking it down to a binary equation. The most useful life skill I have picked up is to simplify the complex, and I like to think I do it well. We don’t like to feel stupid, and if you can make something simple, gaining agreement gets a lot easier.
Do you feel like we’ve gone full circle? Cause we’re almost there.
There’s nothing simpler than manufactured outrage- over, maybe, something that on its face is about art, but in reality, is stopping people from identifying with people not like them.
I know it hurts and I know it’s hard. I still hope you’ll find it in your heart to see who’s Real and hear their story.
With that in mind, I want to leave you with this story. As you read it, imagine this is your friend you lost touch with, but have thought of fondly from time to time.. someone Real to you.
That’s all I have to say, because my heart is too full.. yes, with horror and hurt, but maybe a little spark of hope, too. Because if I didn’t believe we were better than this… why would I be here telling you the story?
Be well, friends.
Curiouser and Curiouser 