Hello again, my sometime readers from your favorite sometime writer.
Like probably most of us, I’ve got a lot of thoughts going on in my head.. and I can point to Buffalo or Uvalde or Sandy Hook or the fact that a lot of us cocked our head and blinked when we heard Bowling Green and tried to remember what atrocity took place there.
But I think it has more to do with recent exposure to people and listening to what they say and watching what they do. How they treat one another. I think it has to do with reading the words of our educators, listening to the talking heads.
And a lot of thinking and feeling about all those things.
Well, cool, Ari, what does it add up to for a Gen X keyboard philosopher?
We talk too much. Communication isn’t just braying words out into the air (or flinging careless characters out into cyberspace). For communication to happen, you have to have a sender of a message and a receiver of a message, and both have to understand what was communicated in the same way.
We have become a society of senders. We are piss poor at receiving, and due to sender fatigue as they repeat over and over and do not choose their words or methods with care, the intent and clarity of the message is getting lost or distorted so that the receiver doesn’t get what the sender intended. In fact, we have become very good at receiving the wrong messages entirely.
I think to a certain extent, we speak now without even expecting there to BE listeners. And that’s really just creating random mouth noises. I don’t know about you, but I find noise to be pretty frustrating, especially if I can’t make it stop. Especially if it’s not directed to me as a receiver in any way, and yet I still have to hear noise. Somewhere along the line, the indoor voice went the way of the dodo, and I miss it deeply.
What we also have going on is a deep undercurrent of fear and frustration. If you happen to sleep well, safe and assured that tomorrow will be a better day, that you and yours are safe under a blanket of freedom and justice for all, I envy and pity you. While I’m not saying I lie awake at night waiting for someone to break in and commit nefarious acts on my kitchen appliances so that my brownies never bake evenly again, I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t very aware of the mounting examples of where safety isn’t a guarantee. Grocery stores, theaters, entertainment venues, not even running errands.
Sure, there’s a certain amount of unavoidable risk- I get into cars, I could get into a wreck. Chances are pretty good that I won’t- but the key is… that’s unintentional harm. That’s existed in my brainspace since I was a small child and realized accidents happen. It’s not a fun thing to think about, but for most of us, it’s part of the air we breathe and we accept it.
What I (and I think a lot of folk) have a harder time accepting is the idea that there are people out there who are committing intentional harm against others. We don’t know who, where, or how, but we know we are less safe. And there’s no action we can take to predict or try to be more safe beyond barricading ourselves in our homes (and I understand if you do that with weapons and act sufficiently paranoid, SWAT will get involved).
So. Fear. Frustration. Powerlessness. Put all those together in a stew with little pressure bubbles coming up to the surface as more and more of these violent events happen, and you get anger. And no lie, there’s a million reasons to be angry right now. High prices on all the things. Personal freedoms under assault. Can’t find the P on the keyboard (personal reason for annoyance as I just typed oersonal freedoms five times). Afraid for your people who could still get sick. And nothing’s getting any better.
Anger and poor communication skills are a bad, bad mix… and yet, that’s where we are right now. Like usual, I’m bringing this back to me (cause when is it not about me) because I’m the only person I get to make decisions for.
Here they are-
- Turn away anger.
- Say what I mean and mean what I say.
As part of my beliefs, the energy you put into the world is on you. And yeah, there’s a lot of times when I want to vent a hearty FUCK THIS. Instead, I’m taking a deep breath and doing my best to let it the fuck go. It is a feeling that doesn’t serve me. And the people in my world? They don’t deserve extra noise grating on them.
And as I type that, I’m snort laughing to myself- when is good editing not the answer?
Curiouser and Curiouser 