A couple things to finish up on Day 2 before we start the fun of today-
Last night Rick and I went down to play Adult Pub Trivia.. and won! There’s nothing like drinking a strawberry daquari and paying for it by knowing a bunch of useless stuff. Our team name was The Bearfu Master is wise, cause we always have a tip of the hat towards our Draz, and I had had four glasses of white wine and couldn’t think of anything both short and witty that Bearfu Master would have said.
Then it was a soak in the jacuzzi in room tub while watching Fast and the Furious 7 (cause I never get tired of watching Roman wuss out on the parachute plan), and bed.
Slept in til 7 local time (so amazing that down everything in there), and lazed in bed reading the second book in the Bobverse series (if you like space opera, you really gotta check it out) and eventually got up to go hit Animal Kingdom. I may or may not have had a custard filled Krispy Kreme for breakfast. Reports vary.
Lucky us- worst. Lyft driver. ever. Picked up a call on his cell phone and proceeded to carry on a conversation in Spanish while acting as though he was allergic to both speed limits and turn signals. Yes, I took the survey, and somehow managed NOT to exit the car while asking him sweetly, “Como se dice asshole en Espanol?”
Cause I’m nice. Sometimes.
Animal Kingdom was amazing. There’s been so much care taken with the park, and how not, considering it’s Disney? However, even on a random Tuesday morning, it was still completely jammed with people.
And they weren’t happy people.
It was almost surreal.. we didn’t see anyone, not even the kids who looked remotely happy. The surroundings were magically beautiful, with some new view around every turn, and everyone was downright pissy. “I thought this was the happiest place on Earth,” Rick muttered to me.
“Maybe that’s just the Magic Kingdom,” I replied, sotto voce.
We shrugged and went on being enchanted, cause screw them. Got in line for the safari ride in which I was run over by a drunk guy with a baby stroller twice before Rick very pointedly moved me in front of him and put himself between me and drunk driver. Apparently that was enough of a statement for a sober member of the party to assume the driving responsibilities… and all was well, til another half hour in line when Drunky McStaggerson decided my butt was the guiderail a couple times.
Between the Ren Faire situation last week (I wore a dragon tail that required constant modelling and attracted much commentary) and this, I swear there hasn’t been so much interest in my ass in years, though Rick assures me it’s always been interesting.
At the end of things (no pun intended), the safari ride was well worth the wait. We saw all kinds of animals neither of us has seen before, including a baby hippo that kind of looked like he was pouting in the corner. Rick pointed out to me later that he was actually riding on mom’s back. I still like my interpretation.
From there we headed to Pandora, found some interesting take on Pandoran cuisine (chow mein with pho cuts of meat on the side) and I’m pretty sure we both accidently ingested cabbage.
We were about halfway through our plates when an older couple sat down next to us. Now look, I know it’s hot and muggy, and tempers were pretty frayed. But from the minute they sat down, Rick and I locked eyes and knew our biggest struggle would be to keep straight faces.
First it was, “Get me a coke.” Husband committed the cardinal sin of getting her diet coke, and he had to keep hearing about it. Then it was, “I don’t understand why we’re making ourselves sick in this heat. We’re not going to get our money’s worth anyway.”
And on, and on. And ON. I texted Rick, “I hope we never end up like these two, omg.”
Again we’re stifling giggles. Rick starts to get up for a refill, I cut my eyes to my cup and tilt my head towards it, he nods and grabs it to fill it too. A whole conversation in gestures. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could do that?
But no, now the conversation has gone to how if Husband wants to stay, he needs to pick a show INDOORS cause she’s not gonna make herself sick to make her happy.
Best moment- she’s still chewing on the scar tissue that was this poor man’s ass while he was staring at his cell phone to find an answer to one of her many questions. He held up one finger with a look that said, “Bitch, one more word….”
She obligingly shut up and we enjoyed the two minutes of peace.
A little later we went to leave at the same time the gentleman was looking to ditch his tray, and we helped him find the bins. Somehow we conveyed, “Courage, good sir!” in that oh so brief exchange of smiles and nods and he seemed to go back to his harpy somewhat refreshed. Poor guy.
We found Pandora was essentially closed, so we sighed, shrugged with smiles, and made our way back to the entrance, still noticing how many people were just… angry. Parents, kids, men, women… Rick pointed out once interaction in which the chica had fallen behind her companion and asked for just two seconds.
He sighed as though the weight of the world had landed on his shoulders and counted to two. “See? Not two seconds!!!”
People, man.
So we checked out, came back to home base. Took a swim to cool off, got my first glass of wine, and sat down to catch up my journal entry for today.
Apologies to my mom and stepdad, who got 50,000 pictures of random animals, sometimes with no context.
The rest of the evening is set up to be wine and card games on the balcony, random reading (I got Spiderman and Deadpool vol 2 Side Pieces!), and relaxation.
Cheers, yall!
Curiouser and Curiouser 