Sixth Ring of Customer Service Hell- At a place we’ll call ‘Horrid’

~ curiousreadings

Last Saturday, around 1, I went to the mall.

I hate the mall. I especially hate the mall on really busy Saturdays around holidays. They are crowded and noisy and just unfun.

I had an agenda though, I so went straight into a clothing store… gee… what shall I call it? Let’s call it HORRID.

From the moment I stepped in and started looking around, I noticed a conversation taking place amongst the associates, at a high volume, around the register. It was all about how horribly unreasonable, bitchy, and evil a previous customer was when something didn’t work out the way they wanted it to. All of the associates in the store were a part of the conversation, so it wasn’t like I could quietly ask for a manager and say, yo, what’s up with that shit?

So I quietly did my shopping and pointedly asked if the customer service survey was on the receipt still. The associate chirpily said that it was, and I thanked her politely.

I went home, I took the survey, I said basically the same thing in the comments as I’ve typed here, and asked to be contacted for follow up via email.

Time passed. No follow up was forthcoming. So, I went onto the website, paid off my Horrid Withiner credit card, and used the contact us feature. Because I’m a simple creature, I said basically what you’ve seen before.

What followed… oh. my. god.

 

Hello Ari,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Horrid!

I truly apologize for any inconvenience endured. Will you be able to provide us with the store location and associates name you are referring to?

Thank you, we look forward to hearing for you.

 

I replied-

Hi Aaren- Could you please refer to the survey attached to this email address? All of the information I had from the receipt has been provided, and I have since thrown the receipt away.

Short, sweet, and simple, right? Should be easy. HA, what a sweet summer child I was.

Hello Ari,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Horrid!

I do want to apologize for the inconvenience and frustration you have experienced. However, we are unable to see the survey that you are referring to. We are online customer service only and can not look into or further assist with in-store purchases or inquiries. If you had a bad experience at one of our stores, please give us more details. Such as which store it was, the date and time, and the associate name(s) if you have/remember them. We can then send your feedback to the appropriate party and have this taken care of!

Hi Taylor- can you please refer me to someone that can handle the situation? I’ve already provided all of the information I had, and I’m starting to become very frustrated that no one seems inclined to genuinely read what I’m typing or help in any way. 

Hello Ari,

Thank you for reaching out to us.

We recommend contacting the store manager for further assistance as here at web order customer service we are only able to assist with orders purchased online.

I am absolutely not going to do that, since for all I know, the issue was WITH the store manager. I need to get someone non useless, can you help with that? Or should I just cancel my credit card now?

Sensing the I was getting nowhere, I took my lunch break and called the phone number on the website. I told the whole story, was told that I needed to talk to a supervisor, and after a long hold, that no supervisor was available, would I like a call back? No, I said, I am calling on my lunch break, I won’t be able to field random calls. However, the manager was welcome to reach out to me via email.

The associate then asked if she could have my phone number.

Pause. “That would be kind of counterproductive, wouldn’t it? Since I specifically do NOT want a phone call?”

“Oh, yes, understood, no phone call.”

Cue two phone calls and a voice mail, and then finally! an email.

Hello Ari,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Horrid!

I do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused! I have tried to contact you at the number we have on file and unfortunately I was not able to reach you. I have left a detailed voicemail and I am also following up with this email to ensure you that we would love to further assist with your concern.

Once you send an attachment and we reply to the email, the attachment disappears for us so I sincerely apologize this is such a frustrating experience. If you could access your sent folder and retrieve the receipt, we would greatly appreciate it. If this was a store complaint, we would love to assist you with making your customer experience better. 

Thank you and have a wonderful day!

Marshay

 

WTF? Where did this mythical attachment come in? Clearly, I needed to set the record straight.

Marshay-

1. I did not pick up the call because I specifically asked NOT to be called. In fact, if you ask the representative, I refused to give my number because it was counterproductive- I spend pretty much my entire day on conference calls and cannot. take. random. phone. calls. So thank you for completely ignoring that ask and interrupting my meetings with call waiting beeps. Much appreciated, added a piquant zest to my entire day today.
2. I took the survey on the receipt, asked to be contacted within that survey, and threw. the. receipt. away. I did not scan it or take a picture of it, and at no time has it been digitized so that I can just zip it over as an attachment to you. I visited Cottonwood Mall in Albuquerque, NM, 87120 on 4/13 around 1-2pm and that’s all I can tell you about the who, what, and where.
3. I will not be going into the store to speak with the manager (and I’ve stated this before), as they may have very well been a part of the problem.
4. Please look carefully over my account and through this chain of emails. I think I’ve been a good customer for a number of years- why am I (or any customer doing their best to get some kind of help out of someone from your company) going through this level of sheer annoyance, frustration, and straight up having requests ignored? Is this okay to you? I’m really interested in your answer here- as noted previously, I paid off my balance this morning just in case I want to tell someone something exotic to do with this card.

Hello Ari,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Horrid!

I apologize for that inconvenience. I was just trying to get an understanding of what was going on with this email. I will reach out to the first representative to see if they can recall what the survey receipt said. If the representative cannot, we would ask that you briefly describe your interaction with our store.

Hello Ari,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Horrid!

I do want to apologize for any confusion or inconvenience. I also want to apologize for the previous representative trying to call you. Just to review, this was an in-store purchase. You took the survey on the receipt from the store. I understand that you do not want to return to the store, due to how you were treated, and I completely understand that! I can assure you that I have sent your feedback regarding the manager of the store up to the appropriate department so this can be handled. If this was an in-store purchase and survey, please contact the store when you are free. Please keep in mind that this survey is for in-store use only. When you fill out this survey, you will receive an offer for 10% off of your next purchase in the store. This offer is not valid online and can only be redeemed once. In conclusion, if you did not receive an email back from the survey, please contact the store the purchase was made in. Thank you for understanding and have a great day, Ari!

 

I refuse to believe that this is a serious response. Please review the four points and do not contact me again unless you are responding to those points.
Note that as soon as I’m done with my workday, I will be amalgamating these fascinating glimpses of the sixth ring of customer service hell in which I have found myself on any social media platform I can think of. In fact, I may just join a few new ones for the joy of sharing this wonderful experience.

1. I did not pick up the call because I specifically asked NOT to be called. In fact, if you ask the representative, I refused to give my number because it was counterproductive- I spend pretty much my entire day on conference calls and cannot. take. random. phone. calls. So thank you for completely ignoring that ask and interrupting my meetings with call waiting beeps. Much appreciated, added a piquant zest to my entire day today.
2. I took the survey on the receipt, asked to be contacted within that survey, and threw. the. receipt. away. I did not scan it or take a picture of it, and at no time has it been digitized so that I can just zip it over as an attachment to you. I visited Cottonwood Mall in Albuquerque, NM, 87120 on 4/13 around 1-2pm and that’s all I can tell you about the who, what, and where.
3. I will not be going into the store to speak with the manager (and I’ve stated this before), as they may have very well been a part of the problem.
4. Please look carefully over my account and through this chain of emails. I think I’ve been a good customer for a number of years- why am I (or any customer doing their best to get some kind of help out of someone from your company) going through this level of sheer annoyance, frustration, and straight up having requests ignored? Is this okay to you? I’m really interested in your answer here- as noted previously, I paid off my balance this morning just in case I want to tell someone something exotic to do with this card.

 

Hello Ari,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Horrid!

I do apologize for the inconvenience that this may have caused. I apologize for a representative calling you when you requested to not be contacted by phone. I have reviewed the previous emails, and unfortunately we are unable to see the attachment that you provided or see surveys that customers have completed. If you have any additional information on your experience in our store, please do not hesitate to provide them so we can assist you better. I do apologize that you have not been contacted in regards to the survey you have completed, and I will send your information up to the appropriate department to have someone contact you.

 

Back to this mythical attachment again… and I want to note, that because I love you few folk that wade through this, I cut out about 8 more back and forths that didn’t add anything to the conversation here. I also reached out via Facebook just in case there would be any help forthcoming there.. so far, looks like not.

 

Postscript-

So, never give up, never surrender.. this just in.

Hello Ms.Wellman,

My name is XXXXX and I am the District Manager that covers our NM market. I received your survey and correspondence about your negative experience in Cottonwood Mall. I am very concerned about this, take it very seriously,  and want to thank you for your information.

I understand from  your comments, that the employees working were chatting (and it seems about other customers), which is ABSOLUTELY not acceptable and not a standard in which we accept in my district, within this store, or within our company.

I pride myself and my teams on making our customers feel appreciated, welcomed and comfortable and I am so sorry this experience let you down and did not allow you feel any of those things.

I will be speaking with the entire staff, starting with my management team, about this experience. We definitely never want anyone to have a poor experience, and I am so sorry that you did not feel valued.

I would like to send you a gift card for your time, if I may. It may be used in-store or on our website. I understand you have shopped Horrid consistently, so I am hoping you will accept the gift card, and that you have had better experiences prior to this. I would just need your address so that I can send it to you.

Please know that I am handling this, and again, want to thank you for your time in sharing about your visit so that I can address these matters with my team.

Sincerely,

XXXXXX

 

So. Customer service isn’t dead. You just have to be really omg levels of persistent. But hey, if you think about it another way, if you see something jacked up that hurts a business you appreciate and want to support and you don’t say anything, well, you’re part of the reason that business won’t be around for you in the future. Which is a long way of saying if you aren’t part of a solution, you’re part of the problem.

Of course, it did occur to me that- over the years of providing feedback like this, it’s probably the most profitable per word type of writing that I produce.

Depressing, huh?