I was in the kitchen, shredding up some Dr. Pepper slow cooked pork shoulder, when I realized that I only learned how to make it because Draz wanted to try it. I mused for a moment, thinking of all the things I tried or made for him… I only drew a line at steamed broccoli because I hated the smell of the stuff.
It made me smile, like a lot of the memories I have of him do, but then I started thinking about how I’m usually much too reserved and shy to tell people how much I care about them.
Instead, I cook. And not only do I cook- I bust my ass to make sure I am making the best possible whatever it is, putting everything I feel into working over that stove and giving that dish extreme TLC.
Because, you see, it’s my way of giving people TLC.
For Draz, it was Dr. Pepper pork shoulder. For Adam and the kids, it was meatloaf. For Dan, it was wookiee cookie cake. For my mom, it was sugar free orange chocolate cheesecake. For Frog, it was my giant double decker hot fudge cake.
For Rick, it was dragonmeat.
It goes back so many years… to my mom (oreo brownies) and my dad (chocolate chip peanut butter cookeis).
It was never enough to make something well… it had to be perfect, cause it was carrying more than the weight of some calories, it had to carry the weight of all the things I couldn’t, and to be fair, probably in a lot of ways still can’t say.
Thanks, Draz, for still being over my shoulder and giving me the thoughts I need to be thinking.
Curiouser and Curiouser 