This post.. just for the fellas. Every year we see you struggle with the ‘perfect’ gift. Or even the ‘good nuff’ gift. Some of you figure it out, but some of you get it very, very wrong. This is me trying to help you before you do something truly dumb.
Ladies… get him beef jerky, socks, underwear, entertainment of choice (movies, video games, comics, strippers) and leave him alone to enjoy them. Don’t ask him to do the dishes or hand him a honey do list for at least two days. Trust me, he’ll be fine.
OK guys… here’s the kind of stuff she wants-
Mantraband– It’s jewelry with a deep message of inspiration and love! It shows that you get her, really get her, and she’ll love it.
Tee Turtle- Cute t-shirts, socks, games! Pick her favorite Disney character and off you go, nothing simpler.
Etsy– This one’s going to involve being a little sneaky. If your chica has an etsy account, it’s time to figure out her username and grab stuff off her wish list. Upside- it’s all unique, handmade, and omg how did you know? Better than Amazon cause you’re supporting an artist. Downside- if you get caught, good luck talking your way out of that one.
Date Night in subscription boxes– Means that you’re making your relationship a priority, you’re really into her and spending time with her, and the activities can be pretty fun. Slight downside- you may be getting yourself roped in to helping to make dinner on Date Night.
All of the above, and any gifting experience really needs to show some care and thought behind it… if you truly thought it out, it’s hard (but not impossible!) to get into trouble.
Here’s the stuff that could work but I’m throwing up the caution sign.
Fitness trackers- Anh.. be careful, cause this one, while a thoughtful gift, could lead to two really not great outcomes.
- “Are you calling me fat?!?!” I don’t think I need to say anything more here.
- “Oh honey, we can take this journey together!” This leads to all the laps around the mall when you could be at home playing your new video game/watching your new Die Hard ultimate collection/reading your comics. That’s even worse than getting dragged into the mall to return whatever lame/wrong gift you got her… the returns line has an end, after all, whereas that damned FitBit will need 10,000 steps every. damn. day. Or until she’s tired of it, and I guarantee you’ll be tired of it long before she is.
Matching undies/jammies- a little overcutesy, and you don’t want to accidentally pull on her stuff while searching through the laundry for your own.
Underwear/lingerie subscription boxes- If it’s not to her taste, she’s not going to feel good in it… and if she doesn’t feel good in it, she’s also not going to feel sexy in it. Poor rate of return on investment, is what I’m saying.
Gift cards- Super impersonal, basically the equivalent of Jane grabbing George’s wallet and buying herself a little something. As a stocking stuffer it can be okay, but not as a main gift.
Under the heading of ‘don’t you even fucking dare do it’-
Gifts that are really for you- this can be a new big screen tv, computer, books you think she should read, games you think she should play because YOU like them.
Clothes one size too small- it’s a dick move, don’t do it.
New decor for the home that’s all you, not at all her.
Hobby supplies for something you’re into but she isn’t… yet.
I know it’s daunting, but I have faith you can get there, guys. Good luck, and remember, we’re all counting on you.
No, that isn’t permission to go buy a box set of the Airplane! movies as a gift.
Curiouser and Curiouser 