OK, it’s officially fall now so I feel like I can actually write about the pumpkin spice thing. Which, for the record, I completely agree that not everything on the planet HAS to be pumpkin spiced.
Yes, I’m aware not all of these products are real- but can you call all of them out with complete 100% certainty? Yeah, me neither.
But…. at the same time, oh my heavens, I want to try at least some of that stuff. Kind of. Maybe it’s a sign of my level of conformity… when September hits, I want to snuggle in an afghan and consume pumpkin spice and wearing leggings. While I do technically have a pair of boots that I technically could wear with those leggings, I have not bought a vest to complete the ensemble.
Maybe if it was a Han Solo vest. MAYBE.
So Rick and I went grocery shopping after an early dinner (no, we’re not 70, we just don’t want to deal with crowds when we go out), and as soon as we headed in the doors, Rick started laughing.
I peeked around his shoulder and saw what can only be described as a supermarket altar to all things Pumpkin Spice. “They saw you coming.”
Absentmindedly I told him to shut it as I began to scour the shelves for that which I could have (Special K, or so I thought, more on this later) versus the things I oh most certainly could not even think of having (the 14 inch pumpkin pie). The plethora of pleasantly scented pumpkin products pounded against my nasal passages, promising pumpkin passion, held at bay lo these many months of spring and summer, would soon be sated.
Pumpkin rolls and pies and cookies (with chocolate chips.. wtf does that and why are they corrupting the essence of the pumpkiny goodness?) Pop Tarts and muffins and donuts and everything edible in between you could possibly imagine and then some.
Rick pointed out pumpkin pancake/waffle batter. I saw 140 calories for two pancakes and bought it.
Special K had they little crispy pastry thing next to the Pop Tarts. 100 calories?! Into the cart they went.
Then I started looking at cereals.
Rick: “They have cheerios.”
Me: “Shut up, that’s not food.” He should so know better than to interrupt the internal Pumpkin Spice monologue and label reading.
Frosted Mini Wheats- oh temptation… I used to love these as a kid.. and as an older kid that didn’t feel like using the microwave. Holy chao, there’s Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes… omg I bet those are amazing. Ah here we go.. good old reliable Special K.
/read label
Uh.. these are higher calorie than the mini wheats… wait, are the amounts comparable?
/scans mini wheat label
8 nuggets? WTF counts as a damn nugget? Is it less or more than 3/4 a cup?
Against my will, the box of Frosted Flakes fell into my hands.. 3/4, less calories than Special K.. WTH.. you know what, screw it. They’re grrrreaaaaat!
And that was it.. everything I got was about 200 calories a serving and won’t break the caloric bank. I’m a happy girl. Just three items, all intended for eating, like people do from time to time.
Cause friends, it’s all about moderation. Pumpkin is a beautiful thing, it doesn’t deserve to be this-
Or this-
And maybe most especially not this-
We gotta slow down, people, before these next few items become actual products in the stores-
And if those things are real, could y’all do me like a personal favor and NEVER tell me? I’m not sure I want to live in that world.
Edit- And today, what do I find out in the world but this-
Seriously, people. Calm. Down.
Curiouser and Curiouser 